Like many of us, my teenage years were very chaotic. Full of drugs, alcohol, and just poor decisions in general. I was finding myself more and more depressed with how I treated myself and others. One night I ended up taking a large amount of magic mushrooms, however unlike the previous experiences in the past, I found myself confronted with who I am and the actions I was taking. It was a life changing experience and set into motion a process of self discovery that I never knew was possible. I was no longer able to act the way I have been and found my old life crumbling away.
I found myself traveling to Iquitos Peru alone at the age of 17, attending a shamanism conference. I didn’t know anyone or even why I decided to attend, I just knew for some reason I had to go. I got sick and had a rough time in general however something inside me was sparked and I knew I wanted to come back. After a few years I was able to return, I was 20 years old and was feeling slightly more confident than before. I soon found myself on an adventure of a lifetime, going up the rivers and tributaries into the Amazon Jungle with Peter Gorman.
The trip was full of adventure, magic, and different medicines. Besides the amazing boat rides, night canoeing, hiking through old Jungle, primordial swamps and swimming in rivers and lakes. I was also introduced to Ayahuasca, San Pedro, and the Matses medicines, Sapo and NuNu which have been an important part of my life ever since. I found myself falling in love even deeper with the people, medicines, culture, and landscapes of Peru. It was truly a gift to visit not just once, but three times before the age of 21. I will never forget these amazing experiences and still am digesting what happened 7 years later.
My Journey with the Gender and Sexuality
Finding myself unsuccessful as a teenager in the dating world, by the time i was 18 years old I was desperate to not be a virgin any longer and found myself hooking up on Craigslist with random guys. I was jumping into unknown situations often and was lucky that I didn’t get hurt. I began to identify as a gay man in my private life, however it wasn’t until I returned to Peru, 2 years later that I rediscovered my physical attraction for women. for a little while I thought i was confused and that I must be “straight” however it didn’t take too long ( with the help of the medicines ) to realize that I am attracted to all sorts of people. After trying to mentally force myself into box A or B for years, I ended up finding a lot of relief with identifying as Pansexual.
About a year later I came across the the term Two spirit while reading a book. My binary world view of male and female was shattered and something inside me immediately recognized this as truth. I have always found myself stuck in the middle fluctuating between these male and female energies. It took a few years of internal debate and discovery before becoming comfortable with the fact that I am Gender fluid. Once again similar to my sexuality, I find myself outside of the “binary” culture I was raised in. The discovery process has not stopped and I am still exploring who I am, however the relief I have experienced from allowing myself to step outside of the gender binary has been tremendous in my life.
There is a lot of social conditioning and “heavy” opinions around what sexuality or gender should look like. Fueled by misunderstanding and fear of what we may or may not discover, exploring these areas of my life has not always been easy… However, allowing me to be me will always be worth the sometimes negative reactions of others.
Discovering Human Design
I started experimenting living as a Projector and studying Human Design in August 2013. Like many people who first bump into this knowledge I tried learning everything that I could…however that was just the icing on top of the cake. Following my Strategy and Authority was what made a difference…and it has impacted me in more ways than I could have ever imagined, revealing deep truths about myself and how I move through this world.
I have been working with individuals for the past 4+ years and sharing how to really start experimenting their Design / Strategy and Authority. I have also had the opportunity to teach and work with groups in person as well as online. I truly love having the opportunity to share this with others and potentially empowering people to discover their own truth.
If your interested in having me go over your chart and the services I offer you can check it out by clicking on the following LINK.